User blog comment:MickeyNas/Vason Celfor/@comment-213.22.27.181-20141018085004

Just a few tips:

1 - Make this a proper page, and not an User Blog;

2 - Punctuation needs work;

3 - Overall character story needs some more work;

4 - The 'effects' you're trying to send to the reader (for example: "verak [][][][][][] [censored for mysteryious stuff]" need some more work. I'm fine with the format you used, but it can be performed better, for example: "Verak ██████* "

Bottom of page: " *censored for the sake of mystery.".

Hope I was helpful.